Should you tell your kids about divorce alone?

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Should you tell your kids about divorce alone?

Your spouse asks you for a divorce. Later that day, while you’re at home waiting for the kids to get back from school and your spouse is at work, you start wondering how you should approach this. Do you just tell the kids about the divorce by yourself as soon as they get home, or should you wait for your spouse?

There are a couple of things to consider here. As much as you want to talk about something this big in your life, you also don’t want to rush it. Never tell the kids that a divorce is coming before it is 100 percent certain. If your spouse just said it in the heat of the moment, you need to talk about it a lot more before breaking that news to anyone else.

Another thing to consider is that, even after you know that you’re getting divorced for sure, this is a conversation you want to have with the kids while you’re all together. It is best for both parents to be involved. Don’t try to do it before your spouse can participate.

The kids are going to have a lot of questions. This is an emotional time for them, as well. They need honest, accurate information. It’s easiest to meet all of their needs when you are together.

Remember that the kids’ best interests are the focus for much of the divorce process. That’s where the court puts the priority when deciding custody and other matters. As you proceed through the legal process, you need to continue to put the kids first.