A divorce is an ideal solution when you are involved in a toxic or combative relationship. However, when you have children, you still have to work with him or her to parent your kids effectively.
Co-parenting is not an option for all parents. If communication between you and your ex quickly devolves into fighting, parallel parenting may be your only option. According to Healthline, parallel parenting allows you to focus on the kids while minimizing the risk of fighting.
Write everything out
You should have a plan for everything. Your parenting plan needs to be highly detailed so no one has room to argue. For instance, there should be clear pick-up and drop-off times, with detailed instructions on handling it if one of you is late. You should have specific instructions for handling birthdays, holidays and other special events. In addition to planning everything that could force you to talk with your ex, you should also prepare for what happens if you have a dispute. There should be instructions on how to handle conflict.
Limit your communication
Parallel parenting does not involve a lot of communication. You exchange your kids in a neutral place without leaving the vehicle, attend school events separately and even plan appointments without one another. Consider having a book for your kid to bring back and forth where you can input milestones, meetings, medical conditions or other areas of interest.
If you have to talk to your ex, try to keep it between text and email. You may want to use an app that allows you to save every message or that can read tone to prevent fighting through messages.